The velociraptor uses its razor-sharp foot claw to scalp Sam Neill and remove his face. It picks up the face and hair in its scaly dinosaur hands and drapes it over its own head. The velociraptor removes Sam Neill’s clothes and drags his naked corpse behind the industrial freezer. It dresses itself in his garments, walks outside and climbs into the waiting Jeep. “Mr Hammond, after careful consideration,” it says to Sir Richard Attenborough, “I’ve decided not to endorse your park.”
MILO GOES TO THE BEACH
really really really trying: “This was the best summer ever,” the seagull gushed, watching her as...
“This was the best summer ever,” the seagull gushed, watching her as she dangled her legs off the edge of the pier.
“Could you tell me why that is,” she wondered, looking at the water in which the seagull was reflected. His reflection was broken into thin, detached ribbons of seagull.
He looked…
“UNRAVEL A MOUTH AND DOUBLE DECREASE A NOSE!”
“of course you idiot!”
really really really trying: Gratuitous character assessments of made-up animals
Ugh, this creep. You can just tell he’s the kind of blowhard that always has an opinion on other people’s business. He’s probably a compulsive liar, too. I wouldn’t believe a word that comes out of him. Look, his abdomen’s all swollen. Bet it’s because he’s so full of shit.
Can you…
(Source: reallyreallyreallytrying)
Stephen Malkmus wants to paint you like one of his franch gurls.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WOODY GUTHRIE!
HERTZ SO GOOD
